false alarm. still invincible.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
