look no pants
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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