I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
