my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
