# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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