it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize