Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
