we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
my poor anus
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
