3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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