To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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