I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize