I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
