WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
