Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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