i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
