we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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