How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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