I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
