who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
