she was so not down for the gang bang
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
