One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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