i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
