My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
