just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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