She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My dick has a subreddit
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
