so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
