oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
