We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
