so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
