She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
