dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
