I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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