apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
