i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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