Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
