The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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