I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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