after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
