our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
