Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
