i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
