I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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