I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
