I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The Olympian is in my bed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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