I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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