Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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