Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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