Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
