i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
