btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
