i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
barbara walters just said penis...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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