ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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