I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I still have a little drunk in my system
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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