dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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