Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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