Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
