Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
