Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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