I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
