They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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