Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
